How to get an infinite supply of confidence in midlife.
There are many reasons why your confidence and self worth might take a dip in midlife.
What I’ve discovered from working with hundreds of women is that during midlife there is a reset that is possible in terms of our confidence and self worth. And self doubt increasing, confidence decreasing are signs that you are ready for this midlife reset!
One where the foundations of your confidence shift from being externally located to now being located within yourself, which means you no longer rely on external validation to feel worthy within yourself. Because your confidence comes from the wellspring of life that is you, is the infinite YOU.
I believe this is such an important piece for us as women in midlife to understand and to work with!
Listen in to find out how I do it and support my clients to do the same!
Full Episode Transcript
Hey my friends. Welcome to the podcast. I really want to talk about confidence and self-worth, self-confidence, how we see ourselves as it relates to us being in midlife. Midlife being that period of time, 40 to 60, 65. It’s a very long period of time, 20, 25 years. So very often women that I work with, their self-confidence.
Has decreased or is lowering, or maybe they’ve felt like they’ve never had it, but for me, many women during midlife, they have a bit of a battle of confidence or a crisis of confidence within themselves. And I want to speak to some reasons why that might be happening and actually why this is a really, really good thing.
So stay with me. Okay. So if we’re in midlife, We are seeing that our level of, of self-worth, of self-confidence is lowering, is decreasing.
You gotta think back to, well, what was my confidence based on when I was in my twenties, when I was in my late teens? My, my twenties. What was my confidence based on then? And if it was based on things like, and it very normally is based on these things, my appearance, my sexual attractiveness, or attractiveness to other people, my academic success, my financial success, the clothes that I wore.
The house that I live in, the car that I drive, the people I spend time with, all of those material things and I’m not disrespecting those things at all because all of that, having our confidence based on that, at that age and stage of life is really appropriate. It’s just normal. It’s appropriate.
But if we are still expecting our confidence to be based on that. When we’re in our fifties and sixties, then we will see that our internal experience of confidence and how we show up in the world starts to change because there’s a shift that’s happening. There’s such a strong midlife shift that’s happening and it needs to be talked about more.
And that shift is a calling from your psyche to take the foundations of your confidence away from those external things and realign them, create new foundations that are going to serve you for the rest of your life. And those new foundations of self-worth, self-confidence are based on the fact that you are here, that you’re a human being, living this life.
You’re an infinite being. You are a walking miracle. Life itself is bloody mysterious and miraculous. The very fact that you are. Is a miracle. Let’s base. This is the calling of midlife base, our levels of self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence on that fact, just that you are you. You are a spark of life, you’re an infinite being, and when you take
your self-confidence and you unplug it from all of those external things, and you connect it back in to that deep, infinite wellspring of love that you are at the core of your being. Whether you feel it on a daily basis or not, you are there. Then you have an infinite supply of confidence of self-worth that is gonna carry you through your life, your life circumstances, and it’s, you know, life goes in cycles of death and rebirth, death and rebirth, death and rebirth.
Not physical. I’m not talking about physical death right now. I’m talking about within our life there are, there are seasons and, and there’s a falling away and a dying off, and then a rebirth, and then that will come into maturity and then that will fade away and die off and then be reborn again. And so that’s, you know, normal cycles of life on the subtle level.
And so midlife is a time where our inherent self-worth our self-esteem, and then our self-confidence goes through a bit of a dying off process. There’s a death process there because what it was rooted in was finite, was material. Was not gonna last. And so we need to replug back into our infinite self.
And I really hope I’m making sense here because when we make that subtle shift,
confidence and self-worth, it just flows through us. It no longer is a battle of. A conflict, a battle of beliefs of, you know, I wanna feel worthy, but there’s such a big part of me that doesn’t,
we get to let that old version of self-confidence go, let it die off. Let it die off in midlife the, because there’s something new that’s gonna be reborn inside you, and that is a self worth that is,
Infinite in its supply that is infinite in its longevity because it is based on an infinite part of you, the miraculous spark of life that you are on the inside of you, your spirit, your soul, whatever you wanna call it, your life force. We don’t need to make the conversation really, really spiritual to
open up to concepts that are really supportive for us at this time of our life. Because whilst having our confidence based on those material foundations when we were younger was appropriate for their age and stage. There’s a calling from your psyche at this age of age and stage in your forties, fifties, and sixties, which is very, very different.
So that’s why we feel like it’s slipping away from us. I suppose in a way it is, but there’s something around the corner that if we weren’t trying to hang on to the way things used to be, and we did let them go, there’s, I promise you, there’s a rebirthing that’s coming inside of you in your psyche, in your emotional self, in how you see yourself in the world.
That is so freaking powerful. Yeah, of course. We have to look at all of the constructs of, we can look at them one by one, though. We have to look at the constructs of ourselves, around our beliefs, how we see ourselves in the world. Am I carrying those good girl beliefs from when I was a kid? Am I still trying to live my life from those now cuz that’s not gonna serve me.
Am I getting filled up by, this is a really small example. By being attractive to other people, by having comments about the way I look, does my confidence rely on that?
That might have been okay once, and you listen, you are still gorgeous. You are still beautiful. But what I’m saying is if we can not rely on having that as feedback to fill our confidence up, but our confidence is just so deeply plugged in to that, to our infinite self. If we’ve got. Or we’re opening up to that and that is emerging in us, or you are even thinking that that could be a possibility for you because this is one of the true callings of midlife.
Then when we’re, we are walking with that, nothing can stop us. Right, not society’s expectations, not very old-fashioned ideas around what happens in midlife. And as we start moving through our fifties and into our sixties, none of that has to impact you and how you live your life. This time is a time of an upgrade.
Absolutely. And there’s women in your life who you see. You see it happen for them.
This is a time where our psyche is calling us forward, and yes, it can feel chaotic. You know, all of those symptoms of perimenopause that we’re not so much talking about. In this episode, we’re talking about that deeper calling from the psyche of a stage change that’s happening for us. If we can find our ways to work with those physical symptoms, but also you.
Keep your mind open. Keep your heart open for the calling of your psyche of the change that’s happening within you because it’s, it can feel a little chaotic, but it’s actually sending you down a path that is going to give you so much vitality, so much self-love, so much confidence. Honestly, you will feel like you are just getting started.
How good is that feeling? I’m just getting started. I’m so excited about what I’m bringing into the world, how I’m showing up who I’m being. That’s the promise. And if you are not feeling that, if there’s a gap, a big gap, a small gap for you for where you are now. And what I just described, that’s okay too.
Yeah, that’s, that’s life. It’s good to own it. It’s good to witness it. And I’m gonna be talking some more about it in future podcasts, so come and hang out with me again. We’ll talk some more about it. This is not a problem that we solve in a day. This is not a shift we make in a day, but it is a shift that holds a lot of promise for us.
And I want to talk about it some more because there is so much good in the world that you can do that. I can do that we can do as a collective, and we are just getting started. All right, my friends. I hope you found that really helpful, that it set off some light bulb moments for you, triggered some inspiration.
Have you got a friend you know, who might be at that same age and stage that I was talking about. Send them this podcast. They’ll thank you for it. Yeah, and let’s have some more conversations about this. Have an amazing week and I’ll talk to you real soon.